Aka “UNCLES”

What’s the problem? It’s just like my favorite book, Men Are From Mars, Women Belong In The Kitchen Making Me A Fried Bologna Sandwich.

No, see, they just relocated the dipstick. You can locate it just behind the steering wheel, right above the driver’s seat.

I just checked in to see what condition(er) my commission(er) was in.

Now, your astrological forecast: Leo, you gonna die; Virgo, you gonna die; Gemini, you gonna die. Twice.

What are you talking about? He was awesome in… umm…

…fuck.

Alternate headline: Tom Cruise really, really loves paychecks. How odd of him.

If you define 2015-2025 as “fun,” then I’ve definitely lost the plot.

Also, fuck Ark, ya goddamn time black hole.

Iran, NK, Russia and untold kidnapping victims can’t defeat donations? Very wow. Such powerful.

Lol, is NATO in the room with you right now?

Help me North Korea your my only hope.

You misspelled Russia in your title

Oy. He’s like the Sam of the dark tower series. Roland gets his bacon saved by that precious little billy bumbler.

E: ducking autocorrupt is going ham today

…and the home of the brave!

Play ball!

Anakin needs sponsor block.

He’s just gonna cgi some toilets into this older release.

Not yet, but you will be. You will be.

And what horrific rider was stapled to the back? The harvesting organs from conscious victims bill? The crushing puppies in a hydraulic press amendment? The rape all the unicorns to death bill? Exterminate all the green eyed people? I’m sure there’s something just lovely hiding away in there, somewhere.

Lot of em are kinda chunky, tho.

Just keel haul 'em the whole way back.