It confuses me when someone thinks plastics are “bad”. It’s such a privileged, narrow viewpoint that ignores so many of the problems that humanity has needed to solve.

Over the years I’ve learned to trust my cat. If he’s on the counter, I tell him to get off, and he gets off.

If he doesn’t get off, I know him well enough to know that there’s a good reason. Like he’s looking at me with that same cat expression he always has, but I know he’s thinking, “Trust me, I’m allowed to be here right now.”

Ok, let’s do this.

We silently coordinate our efforts. I start moving appliances off the counter until the intruder is exposed. It’s a cockroach, a big one. It scurries. Bucky swats, stunning it. He gets it in his mouth for a second, but it’s gross so he spits it out. Once it’s disabled, I finish it with a shoe.

Mountain of treats. Glorious victory.

Alternate ending: it escapes under the fridge and Bucky stands guard for three days waiting for it to return. He knows his job.

… which is also the origin of the word “grok”.

Full circle!

Red. Circle.

Red circle.

Personally, I like a treadmill.

For years I planned to get one, and all the runners in my family would talk about how awful they are, how no one ever uses it once they have it, and getting outside is so much better.

I finally got the treadmill a couple months ago, and I use it several times per week. Some weeks I use it every day. It’s convenient, I can control the temperature in the room, I can watch something on my phone while I run, and I like being able to set a consistent pace.

You’re thinking about it the right amount. It’s a fill word.

I learned the game as a kid and it was one of those things everyone just knows to say, like “olly olly oxen free” or “eeny meeny miny mo.” It’s just what you say.

That’s just instead of saying, “Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT!”. “Shoot” is when both players put out their hands, just like RPS.

And yes, the players have to agree on which one of them is Odds and which one is Evens beforehand.

When I used to play a game where we had to randomize who went first, my best friend and I decided in advance that I’d always be Evens and he’d always be Odds.

There’s no difference, but if you absolutely can’t agree on who’s what you could always flip a coin for it.

Every time Rock Paper Scissors comes up, I like to point out the superiority of Odds and Evens for resolving disputes.

Rules:

One player picks Odds, the other player picks Evens.

Someone says, “Odds, Evens, says, SHOOT”, and both players put out either one finger or two fingers.

Count the fingers. If it’s odd, Odds wins. If it’s even, Evens wins.

Exactly 50% chance, no ties. RPS has always been obsolete.

Cutting ribbons for grand openings.

I had great, loving parents who tried their best to get me interested in my education. It didn’t matter. ADHD meant I was never going to be a good student.

Craig has actually said that the serious tone was a reaction to Austin Powers existing. It was too on the nose.

shitty.

You can say shitty.

I want to take all these censored memes and edit them so the bad words are in bold red font.

Then I remember the one time I saw a meme that for some reason had the bad word written in red, and my four-year-old daughter was looking over my shoulder and said, “Cunt. That word says ‘cunt’.”

Did you even watch the movie? They explain it right away!

Someone “blew it up” and the resulting explosion launched it into space.