Just bought box wine the other day cuz I knew I had to have a super uncomfortable conversation that could not be avoided and I needed to be anaesthetized for it

It worked and I know in retrospect I really needed it to be that way

Edit/Update: person I had convo with just texted me and apologized for combativeness and I mutually apologized for not dealing with it sooner and we’re along and on to solution mode. The system works, please dont drink if you dont have too but dont forbid yourself from using a tool to improve your situation and try to always be honest. The less you lie or hide, the less influence you will have to unnecessarily drink

  • lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Hey man, I downvoted but i wanted to tell you why. My family has multiple alcoholics. I’m not judging you at all, but i a wanted to encourage you to find other coping mechanism. Alcohol is very dangerous, especially when used that way. Be safe, bro.

      • zqps@sh.itjust.works
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        4 days ago

        I think they’re just pointing out that using alcohol as coping mechanism can easily cause alcoholism, and therefore this post is really dangerous advice for some people.

        • Oisteink@feddit.nl
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          Rigth - and downvotes fixes it? This is lunacy and detrimental to discussion/sharing. You can spot «danger for someone» just about anywhere you look.

          Now the question was if you sometimes drink strategically. Drinking all the time or every day isn’t drinking strategically.

          Try being human sometimes, and not trying to outdo each other being «perfect». Unless you’re 14 and trying to fit in…

          • pleasestopasking@reddthat.com
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            4 days ago

            You can abuse alcohol to negative effect without drinking every day. Binge drinking and drinking to dull your emotions are other forms of alcohol abuse beyond just the classic portrayal of a “drinks all day or he gets the shakes” alcoholic. Maybe OP is doing this very occasionally and it’s not a problem for them. But if you’re using alcohol to as a coping mechanism with any sort of frequency, it’s probably not a healthy situation.

          • JubilantJaguar@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            Rigth - and downvotes fixes it? This is lunacy and detrimental to discussion/sharing.

            Thank you. But anecdotally, it seems there are few of us who think this. I still don’t understand why.

      • Mac@mander.xyz
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        3 days ago

        I downvoted you because i think you’re projecting your judgmental mindset onto others.

  • liverbe@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    No, but I don’t drink strategically. If you need to have a hard conversation or do something difficult, you should probably have your whole brain in use.

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    Yes, millions of people for thousands of years have done something like this. It’s called liquid courage for a reason. I used to give myself exact small doses of alcohol to loosen up my introversion before social situations. If your job depends on it, it’s basically a performance enhancer.

    Not promoting alcoholism here, despite what I’m sure lots of comments will say. Personally, I barely drink at all anymore because it’s gotten really hard on my body. Just giving a different viewpoint. There’s so much addict pearl-clutching in here. Plenty of people can and do use drugs and alcohol responsibly. If you “don’t need” them, great. If responsible doses help you live better, great.

    • Coolbeanschilly@lemmy.ca
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      Given the fact that they said they need the equivalent of FOUR bottles of wine to have an uncomfortable conversation, it’s a red flag.

      You’re right, many people can consume things in moderation, but when you see warning signs like that, warning them isn’t a form of pearl clutching so much as “dude, be careful.”

      • blarghly@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        I mean, did they say they consumed a whole box of boxed wine? Or just that they bought one? Could have also been on of those cartons that is the equivalent of about 2 glasses.

        • Coolbeanschilly@lemmy.ca
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          Generally speaking, when I’ve seen someone speak about a box of wine, it’s the 3L one, not the smaller ones.

            • Coolbeanschilly@lemmy.ca
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              Yeah, I’m aware of these. I was speaking of the big boxes, not the ones like this.

              I just hope that OP doesn’t go down the same ruinous path that I did. Compared to where I was in my fifteen year journey with Alcohol Use Disorder, I was at about year four. Where I would drink in order to relax and be able to socialize with others.

              An over reliance on a substance to ease a social situation (no matter the reason), is a potential crossroads that can lead further down the path of abusing said substance.

      • salacious_coaster@infosec.pub
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        If they drank the whole damn thing that night, then agreed, that’s a red flag. OP didn’t say that though. Maybe they can clarify.

  • underreacting@literature.cafe
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    Sure, but I was also an alcoholic. Very high functioning, but still at the end 100% dependant on it.

    The slope is so treacherously flat, you don’t feel yourself slipping. I still have no idea how I ended up where I did, or for that matter how I ended up actually managing to quit.

    I’m sure some people can use liquid courage without it turning into depending on it to do the hard things, then more and more things turning hard and needing a boost to do it, or can wash away work with a drink at the end of the week, without having to wash it away at the end of every day, and then having a quick rinse-and-reset at lunch, and so on… But it’s impossible to know which one you are until it’s too late.

  • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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    I mean, you could call it strategic, or you could call it relying on substances as a crutch to manage your emotions.

    I’m not saying that’s always bad, necessarily. There is the school of thought that it’s just a tool, like in your edit. But, it’s important to remember it can become a habit.

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    Lots of people warning you about alcoholism. Idk. I drink coffee strategically every day, and that’s a drug. But also yes, I sometimes drink alcohol strategically. If I know I’m going to hang out with my sister who I love but disagree with on many many things, i have a drink or two. I try to dull my brain just enough that I am too slow to get offended at every single thing (or just don’t care to, maybe?) in the end, we have a great time, I don’t get all debate-ey with her, and instead just appreciate the good things about her. We don’t see each other that often so I genuinely don’t see any danger from this coping mechanism.

  • Fedegenerate@lemmynsfw.com
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    I’ve been doing “tipsy chore day” for a while. Do a chore > glass of wine > do another chore > glass of wine… I may as well finish the bottle > do a chore > final glass.

    Chores are less boring, and you push through them to get your next glass. Has to be wine though, beer I don’t get a buzz going, and spirits have me incompetent.

          • Coolbeanschilly@lemmy.ca
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            When did you buy it, and how long ago? I’m asking, because I’m seeing my old patterns for forcing social interaction.

            • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
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              I have regular like daily light hearted interaction with them, just had a couple old matters I had to settle and come clean about and it was fine just tense

        • VodkaSolution @feddit.it
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          You don’t become an alcoholic for a single episode. I get US and EU are very different when it comes to alcohol consumption, but if OP would see alcohol as the only way to manage all of his problems, ok, it’s dangerous, but if he reckon this is a one of a kind solution, it’s just a bad choice

          • Coolbeanschilly@lemmy.ca
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            If you’ve read my comment history with OP, I was voicing my concerns because that was part of how it started for me. Thankfully I’m on the other side of alcoholism now. I just know that if someone is asking a question showing concern for their drinking, I will speak up and voice concern.

            I’m not attempting to take away any agency, I just wish someone had actually said something to me rather than downplaying my concerns. I may have not fallen down the rabbit hole, because I still had a handle on it then.

  • thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world
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    Anxiety is necessary sometimes. It’s fine to be anxious and it’s ok to be uncomfortable. You are having trouble managing your anxiety seek a therapist. Alcohol will trick you into thinking it’s a solution. Be careful, this is very similar to how my alcoholism and my fathers started.

  • nanoswarm9k@lemmus.org
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    PSA to the youngs who see Box of Wine and think QUANTITY.

    Box of wine actually stays best longest because the tapped bag doesn’t take in O2 and start to sour. So box wine is usually pretty par for paced domestic drinking and cooking.

    I’m sure someone has smashed the box, but they also serve people who are more likely to leave the last glass in the bottle too long.

    Bought Box does not mean Drank Box.

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        LOL, this reminds me of an old viral clip in the Netherlands, where a woman stated “my husband is not an alcoholic, just a standard drinker.” The husband then proceeded simming up his standard drink behaviour, which amounted to something like three beers and seven shots of jenever each day.

  • Matengor@lemmy.ml
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    4 days ago

    I had the opposite situation several times. Conversations that involved fair quantities of alcohol derailed gradually, and afterwards I realized everyone’s attitude had shifted in a more aggressive direction, including my own. So this wouldn’t be a useful strategy for myself 😊.