I have a few.

Camera shuttering sounds. I don’t need to hear your camera, dude. Yeah I know most porn is produced and exploited but, don’t need to hit it home doing this. Here is what I don’t get, why not use inexpensive drone cameras to take footage or take shots? Who the fuck needs stupid people doing it?

Cameramen muffled or hearing. I don’t need to hear you either. I don’t give a fuck if you’re enjoying it, just shut the hell up.

Sped-up previews or even sped-up videos because reasons? It just takes me out of the immersion, if there were any to be had.

Exaggerated sounds and moans. “UNNHHH!” “AHHH!!” “HNNN!” “OOOOOO!” slrshrlshlp splsplslspl moist sounds Just fucking mute it. Don’t watch porn for audio.

Seeing that guy in a scene. You know, that awkward fucking guy who is part of the scene who just idly stands there just jerking off all like “nhhn yeah hrrr yeah oh so into this” I want a series of porn videos, where it is just beating that guy down.

  • Asafum@feddit.nl
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    7 days ago

    Face slapping, choking, any kind of violent nonsense. I hate it so much…

    And when the people won’t shut the fuck up for two minutes…

  • potoooooooo ☑️@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Anytime the girl says shit like, “Oh yeah baby do you like fucking my pussy!? Does my little pussy feel so good!?”

    STOP IT. STOP. IT. PLEASE. UUUUUGH. So not appealing.

    • MagicShel@lemmy.zip
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      7 days ago

      And spitting into mouths. And onto dicks. I mean if you’re doing a whole degradation thing then fine. Not going to say it’s never hot, but if it’s just sex between two people and not hate fucking, count me out. Also throat fucking until they either puke or just snot comes out of everywhere.

      And if you’re going to do degradation, I need a pre- and post-sex interview of the bottom (edit: I originally said girl, but that’s just how I roll, same would apply in reverse—I’m just not excited by femdom) saying how they are into it/loved it. Degradation with full consent and proper aftercare can be hot but I rarely see that. I think there’s like one company that does it right. (And no I don’t remember the company because frankly I don’t watch all the much porn these days. That company might’ve gone under a decade ago for all I know.)

      • HubertManne@piefed.social
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        7 days ago

        you know its funny. I love a good throatpie but for some reason I see the spitting in the mouth and thing. ewww. Then again you think about sex without being horny and in the throes and its like. ewwww.

  • fidget@lemmynsfw.com
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    7 days ago

    How they all seem to end with the guy jerking himself off onto the girl’s face while she just sits there.

    I am not here to watch you jerk yourself off, dude. If you just have to cum on her face for whatever reason, at least let her be the one to make it happen.

    • Rob T Firefly@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      I vaguely remember a standup comic from maybe 25 years ago who had a joke about being at a gas station, and suspecting the attendant was moonlighting as a porn star. Just before the fuel tank was done filling, the attendant pulled out the nozzle and sprayed it all over the car’s hood and windshield.

    • treadful@lemmy.zip
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      7 days ago

      For that matter, the focus on the penis. If the primary focus of a shot is the dick and not the woman, then it’s cock porn. I’m not here for cock worship, man.

  • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Fake moaning. Fake dirty talk

    Jackhammer fucking. I dont want to see some woman have her cervix be pile drived into the ground.

    The view from behind where we get to see some ugly dudes fucking hairy balls dangling.

    Are some of my top ones, but honestly I dont like professional porn in general. Its just so fake.

    I’d rather watch a grainy video of a couple amatures absolutely loving what their doing, than watch some stuff terrible play acting profesional porn in 4k.

    • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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      7 days ago

      See, I watch gay porn, so that under view with balls is actually super hot. Lol. And I quite like the pile driving/jackhammer fucking in real life, so that doesn’t bother me, either. But I don’t like professional porn, I like amateur stuff. And the fake moaning suuuuucks

      • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        if we’re talking specifically about dick and ball focus… I want my dick and balls to be cute, and shaved, if i’m gonna be looking at them. I dont want to feel like i’m watching Sasquatches sex tape lol

    • HeyJoe@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Just curious, is your comment about fake moaning and fake dirty talk apply to every single video or do some actually do ok?

      • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        The only ones I’ve seen do it okay, are the amature videos that arent faking it.

        but I have not watched every porn ever produced, so I’m sure there are some out there where the faking isnt miserable and bad.

  • homura1650@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Choking. I spend a fair amount of time in kink clubs, and the choking you see casually thrown into random porn would get you thrown out of all of them; including the ones that allow choking.

    • YeahIgotskills2@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Love being online, where people can casually say “I spend a fair about of time in kink clubs” and nobody bats an eyelid.

  • kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    7 days ago

    Excessive moaning. Male or female. They sound like they’re having a tough shit, not sex.

    “Sexy” talk that amounts to verbal abuse.

    The popularity of the incest shit is weird and seems indicative of a larger issue in our society.

    Degradation being the rule and not a niche.

    When guys rent open the actresses’ asshole like they’re looking for their car keys in there.

    • twice_hatch@midwest.social
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      The popularity of the incest shit is weird and seems indicative of a larger issue in our society.

      Maybe. It’s convenient for writing purposes because it explains away how the couple already knows each other, already feels safe, already is in the same home, but hasn’t had sex yet.

      The larger issue in society might be that people aren’t meeting each other anymore and aren’t getting into situations where they meet organically. To be fair, even when it works, it’s still a little slower to pick up a stranger from a bar than to wake up horny for your sister.

      A philosopher said that people really just want to feel safe and desired. Family is close to both. I imagine.

  • snooggums@piefed.world
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    7 days ago

    Obviously fake noises and high pitched voices. Just talk at normal volumes and make moans and grunts and other non-performative noises, thanks.

    Yes, I know that even doing that is performative to a degree, but convincingly realistic is better than B movie performances.

      • snooggums@piefed.world
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        7 days ago

        I check occasionally if they don’t have ridiculous facial expressions and once in a while they are decent. Then I see if they have anything else because hot damn it is rare.

    • nymnympseudonym@piefed.social
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      6 days ago

      This. Anything that looks like pro porn actors, high quality expensive filming equipment, “scenes”, etc – all that is instant limp-dick.

      The best is when a totally amateur person/couple/group have hi-rez, hi-quality 60 FPS cam and are naturally exhibitionists and sexual freaks.

      Support small time pr0n producers! Fight corporatism!

  • oh_@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    All the stupid “step-sis/bro” crap. I don’t need some disgusting back story just get busy.

    • Fyrnyx@kbin.melroy.orgOP
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      There’s been an alarming rate of people who are into incest. Like, the lengths they’ll go to try and watch things that consist of actual relatives.

      I don’t get it. Well okay, maybe except already inbred cousin-fuckers, but I don’t get how any rational or normal person could be into it.

  • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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    7 days ago

    One of the actors being really not into it, faked or not.

    If they aren’t all clearly having fun, like in those fake rape videos, then it isn’t for me.

  • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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    I don’t watch porn anymore, wasn’t much on it anyway, because I watched a video of a woman on Reddit whose husband constantly set up multiple gang bangs for her, which she claimed to love and posted photos and videos of, but I realized when I played on how detached and disconnected she looked from the whole process, and that likely she was being largely forced into it by her husband. At one point she moved the wrong way and the guy who was basically using her slid out, and she just said “oh sorry” as if she had accidentally stepped on his toe. It was just depressing.