I like how in escalation of severity a cat meowing is above kids destroying the house.

So I was right then.

I used to work at a gas station. I’d have to clean the bathrooms once per shift.

The mens bathroom? A couple of wet spots next to the toilet. I always attributed this to the guys who end up getting multiple streams, and don’t know what to do.

The womens bathroom? Look. I know women bleed once a month. I get it. But ladies, what the fuck are you doing in the gas station bathrooms??? Are you having coat hanger abortions??? Is it like a woman thing to all contribute to one communal blood pool? There is no way these nightly horror scenes all came from one person unless they had a recently chopped off limb! Is Freddie Kruger attacking you ladies while you’re pooping? I have never figured out what the womens bathroom experience is, but it has SHATTERED any illusion to me that women are cleaner/neater than men. We may leave dirty laundry around the house for days, but you gals have an exorcism as you toot.

See, this is why everyone says girls don’t poop. They DON’T poop. They disembowel.

I must be doing it wrong. I gave birth to some kidney stones years ago.

Do not reccomend.

Don’t worry. I don’t pee on trees. I pee on my neighbors.

…so you’re one of those people who seeks out overly complex and convoluted solutions for the sake of being different.

I don’t know who Buster Keaton is…I assume some kind of professional mosh pitter, and stage diver?

Don’t worry, there will come a time in their elderly years when they need care, and you’ll have that talk about putting them in a nice retirement home.

And you’ll say to them…“Well, good luck with that.”

Well in 2005 I don’t know about teens, but I do know that douchy 20 year olds had frosted tips and popped collars. Thats how you knew someone was an entitled dick.

“Just look at all those fish…and me, only one cat. How am I supposed to catch and eat all the fish in the ocean??? Ah, a cat can dream…”

I don’t understand this.

Does this mean Windows programs and exe files will now run natively on linux?

Edit: unclear why someone asking a question gets a 50/50 downvote to upvote response…

“OOOOHHHH!!! THIS GUY DOESN’T KNOW ALL THE THINGS I KNOW!!! BOOOOO!!!”

Not according to Cookie Monster! He accepts all cookies. Always.

So like, if instead of musk and zuckerburg, it were a 1990s George Clooney? The smug bastard…

Should have used a picture from WCW when he was hollywood hogan as the after photo. Where he’s just spray painting NWO on Miss Elizabeths back.

Because thats what modern day America is trying to do. Establish a new world order.

Or you could have went a different route, and made the before picture hogan smiling with trump back in 1990 at wrestlemania. And then had the after photo be hogan posing with trump in modern day.

Isn’t that wild? How nothing has really changed? The players are still the same. The issues are still the same. Money. Greed. Power. Control. Racism. It’s all the same.

That’s why I’ll never understand why people say “I wonder what George Carlin would say about things now…”

SAME SHIT HE SAID 30 FUCKING YEARS AGO BECAUSE NOTHINGS CHANGED, ASSHOLES!!! He already saw all this shit. He’s heard this song and dance, and made material about the core concept decades ago. The only thing different is now the volume is turned up, and everybody is saying the quiet part out loud.